top of page
Writer's pictureSian Hoskins

When You Speak With Compassion, You Heal The Invisible Wounds of Others

Updated: Apr 30

knight with cup and sword


Empaths' love nothing more than authentic soul connections, no matter who or where they come from. Whether it’s your nearest and dearest or a random stranger who crosses your path, these authentic souls are gifts from the universe as they hold power to heal our invisible wounds.


But on the flip side, there’s hostility, the empaths nemesis! It’s the kind of response that instantly erases you from significance and deems you unworthy. I was recently slapped in the face with such hostility, not literally, but it did leave a mark and triggered me into writing a letter of complaint.


After days, agonising over an infected tooth, I went to my local pharmacy for some pain relief. I was asked a series of questions that felt more like an interrogation with a border control officer than a consultation with a healthcare professional. In my confusion, I almost handed him my passport and a pair of rubber gloves!


woman bound to swords

After being accused of lying – yet another nemesis for the empath - I could feel my body slip into ‘freeze’ mode - which is not embarrassing at all (eye roll) when you’re stood surrounded by awaiting customers - so all I could do was endure the process and lick my wounds later, back in the safety of my sanctuary, invariably smudging the hell out of myself and taking counsel with my beloved cat!



I have tolerated these types of people through gritted teeth my whole life, but something in me snapped this time. Maybe I’ve had too many ‘Full Moons’ this year, and it’s cracked me wide open, but I cannot ‘let go’ on this one.


It takes more than medication to heal people, and the key ingredient is simply compassion. Without empathy, there is no connection, and without connection, the healing process suffers.


Healthcare is not just about taking care of the physical body. If you fail to heal the heart, mind and soul, you’re failing the body as well, and it will cause more physical pain.


It doesn’t matter how good you are as a person; there will always be someone telling you you’re not! I accept that these types are in the world, scattering their opinions with covert shaming, but should they work in healthcare? It’s like hiring a butcher to work at a vegan restaurant!


Despite eventually being served the pain relief, I cried on the journey home and regretted going into the store at all. I’d rather have had another bad night’s sleep than deal with the humiliation.


Luckily for me, I have incredible support from my husband (and my beloved cat!) but, there are many out there without this support, so an episode like this might be the final straw that pushes them over the edge, and no one would ever know.



woman in bed with swords

When someone is publicly humiliated, it triggers that there must be something to be ashamed of…


Seeking drugs is a bad thing, so you must be an addict, which means there’s nothing wrong with you!


How is this helping with mental health awareness? How is it helping with the plight of addiction, accidental overdose, and suicide? By shaming people? Seeking drugs is a symptom of pain, making it a health issue rather than a criminal act!

There is no war on drugs because you can’t war on inanimate objects. There’s only a war on drug addicts, which means we are warring on some of the most abused and vulnerable segments of society ~ Dr Gabor Mate

Bessel van der Kolk’s book ‘The body keeps the score’ explains how trauma gets trapped in the body and why compassion-based therapy is the most effective treatment.


Also, clinical psychologist Peter Levine talks about ‘somatic experiencing' and the importance of using empathy and compassion in his book ‘Healing Trauma.’



Child holds a cup with fish

People start to heal the minute they feel heard and validated!


“Our sorrows and wounds are healed when we touch them with compassion” ~Buddha


man walks with staff and lamp

One of the most painful aspects of mental health recovery is facing our shadow side and bringing it to the light. Brené Brown, known for her TEDx talks on shame and vulnerability, says that we need to get our stories out into the open to heal from it.


Anyone in recovery knows all too well that the first step is to be painfully honest with yourself. The next step is to seek compassion-based help and support, as promoted in Russel Brand's book on healing from addiction - The 12 steps to recovery.


Apart from demonstrating what a sentient human being looks like, these incredible advocates for mental health all insist on the importance of empathy and compassion through the healing process. Unfortunately, Russel Brand wasn’t available to fight my corner with his quick-fire intellect, so I did it myself in the form of an honest email.


The irony is, I was genuinely in a lot of pain with an infected tooth and not seeking a ‘hit’ for kicks, but his shaming tactics triggered the wounded healer in me, and I’m done with staying silent!



Priestess holds sacred scrolls

This is why you should never mess with an empath. They know what you’re really trying to say…


As these types lack empathy, they’re unaware that most people suffering from chronic illness are healing from trauma - which often comes with a multitude of debilitating symptoms - and they abhor taking medication and have taken every step to find healthier alternative methods to aid their recovery.


That we are people with personal stories of our own, and some are so tragic, it would make your toes curl. We may not remember the details of a conversation, but we never forget the way a person makes us feel, and that shit sticks!



man with swords in his back

You never know how close someone is to the edge, so, as fellow human beings, you have a choice in how you leave people feeling, and please assume that we are all doing our best to heal and get well. Never judge a situation you’ve never been in! It may just come back to bite you on the ass!


You can have all the qualifications in the world, but If you’re working from a script and merely playing a role, you will fail your fellow man, including yourself. Judgement and public shaming merely puts people back on the path to self-destruction, and the cycle continues.


We’ve come a long way with bringing mental health awareness out in the open, but there’s still a long way to go.


If you want a better world for your children and grandchildren, then open your heart and practice compassion. Treat people as you would wish to be treated yourself.


Get educated, burn some incense, bake brownies, adopt a pet, embrace nature and give meditation a go!



hand holding a sword


Be part of the solution, not the problem! Live with Compassion.





God… Grant me Serenity to accept the things I cannot change, Courage to change the things I can, and Wisdom to know the difference.”

29 views0 comments

Recent Posts

See All

Comentarios


bottom of page